I really like the technique of indexing that the book talks about because I believe it is particularly relevant to how others communicate our own faults to us, as well as how we communicate others' faults to them. I like to say I'm more of an optimist (well most of the time- you know we can't all be optimists 24/7, that's why venting was invented!) and that my favorite mottoes are: "Good people bring out the good in others," "Where there's will, there's way," "Thomas Edison made anywhere from 1,000 to 10,000 mistakes before he found the light bulb that worked, as he says: 'If I find 10,000 ways something won't work, I haven't failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.'" So when people talk about other quotes that are also true of human nature, but lean more towards the pessimistic side ("Old habits die hard," "The first time you quit, it's hard. The second time, it gets easier. The third time, you don't even have to think about it," "Past actions are the best predictors of future actions," "The difference between real life and movies is that there is no rewind button..." ""If anything can go wrong, it will" "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence therefore, is not an act, but a habit"(Aristotle)), I get a bit depressed and worried if it may really be impossible at times to improve aspects of ourselves that we want to change.
However, I felt that this chapter made a very interesting point in the fact that words and the way we use them through verbal communication can be very powerful in shaping our beliefs and empowering us to change a certain aspect of our behavior. Rather than judging someone solely on a static evaluation (ex: "Ann is and will always be a selfish girl") we should understand that it is still possible for people to change their behavior and reform their ways for the better, although it takes much effort, commitment, and determination.
So instead of forming very rigid judgmental statements about people, it is important to recognize that people often can and will change. To apply this to verbal communication: instead of saying "Ann is and will always be a selfish girl," it would be better to use the technique of indexing to say "Ann on the task committee acted selfishly." Although this may seem like a small and rather slight change, this phrasing can actually make all the difference for someone who is looking for support from others in his/her process to change his/her behavior. Personally I still struggle a lot with being organized because I tend to pack things into drawers and forget to organize their contents when I am busy with school. But I still try to clean up and organize things in my room as much as I can during times when I am not so busy with schoolwork. Yet, whenever my parents mention my room, they tend to use static evaluations all the time: "Melody! You're room is always so messy! Clean it today!" These static statements tend ot generate a hopelessness that I sometimes feel with my ability to organize my room. Because even when I do clean my room, they often still say "Oh it looks good now, but next week it'll probably be messy again." Now that I have learned this better method of indexing to classify an event as a singular event that can be still be changed in the future, I hope talking to my parents about this method will help make them more aware of the influence of the words they use and encourage them to start using more indexing language.
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